Elston Turner Likes His Chances

According to the guy behind the guy behind the guy, Elston Turner just completed a roughly three hour interview with Steve Kerr at the pre-draft camp in Orlando and things went very, very well.

Adelman's head assistant is on the Suns true short list of candidates with Terry Porter, and well ahead of any of the Lakers assistants (Rambis, Shaw.)

Turner is said to be so jazzed up about the job and today's interview that he'll be extremely disappointed if an offer isn't made in the near future.

Something tells me Kerr is far from finished but it's good to know things are progressing and the next steps are being taken.

Professor Kobe Bryant: Revisionist History 101

I'm too fired up (and lazy) to find the actual quote but Kobe Bryant said something like this after his Lakers clinched the Western Conference tonight: "We're the Los Angeles Lakers. Winning the Western Conference is what we do."

It's at this point that I kick down his door and unleash my flamethrower of facts.

FACT: the Suns bounced the Lakers from the playoffs in the FIRST ROUND last year.

FACT: the Suns bounced the Lakers from the playoffs in the FIRST ROUND the previous year.

FACT: the Lakers DID NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS the year before that.

Now, I'm well aware of the definition of hyberbole and I'm sure Kobe Bryant is as well, but I'm also aware of the definition of "self-absorbed, phony, pathetic, jerkface, universally hated douchebag."

Here it is:

Main Entry: Kobe Bryant
Pronunciation: foh-knee
Function: noun
Etymology: B.S., from lick your lips every four seconds speak
Date: May 2008



this post brought to you by a hater of all that is Lakers and non-believer in the basketball gods. Let's face it, any god(s) that allow Kobe Bryant and the Lakers a shot at the championship aren't gods at all. They're sadists, plain and simple.

Doug Collins "Willing to Pay the Price"...for the Bulls

I always find it fascinating when public figures talk out of both sides of their mouth or go back on their word. The latest example is former Bulls, Pistons and Wizards coach, Doug Collins.

It seems he'll be taking over the helm for the Chicago Bulls next neason.

This news comes just three weeks after he explained to ESPN's Marc Stein in regards to the Suns job:

"Steve has not talked to me, but I have no desire to do that. I consider it a compliment when people mention me, but I just love my life now. The work that has to be done and the headaches you have to put up with today, I'm not willing to pay that price. It's just too tough.

I get a chance to see my children now and my grandchildren. I've probably given up the competitive side of myself, but it's such a tough ride and tough grind unless you have the [clout] of someone like Phil Jackson or Gregg Popovich or Jerry Sloan."

I think this is the point where Steve Kerr puts on a short skirt and walks away from Doug Collins shaking his ass and saying "now you'll never get a piece of THIS," because there's no way the Bulls job is more enticing than the Suns head coaching position.

Right?

Feathered and Lethal

Vinny Del Negro had his turn on the Suns interview carousel late last week. I'm not certain he has what it takes to coach in the NBA (experience) but I know he's a step ahead of the other candidates in one aspect.

Hair.

Jeff Hornacek can't compete with it. Neither can Elston Turner. Terry Porter wouldn't stand a chance in hell.

Stop Looking at Me Swan!

If your wildest dreams involve a staring contest with Steve Nash, here's your opportunity. I'm not exactly sure what is happening here but apparently Steve Nash is locked into some sort of no holds barred staring contest with Jessica Alba. I turned it off about ten or so seconds in.

I'm terrible at staring contests and Nash's dreamy blue eyes are just too much for me to handle.

hat tip to Basketbawful

What to Root for in the Lakers/Spurs Series...and BJD site news

The Lakers and Spurs are facing off tonight in Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals. It's no secret that I despise both teams and have let my hatred get the better of me, especially with the Spurs. With all the history between Suns/Lakers and Suns/Spurs, there's plenty of talk of how Suns fans should look upon this series.

I say F the both of them. Here's what I'm rooting for:

-a simultaneous flop by Ginobli/Vujacic causes the Earth to open up and swallow them both.
-Kobe licks his lips one too many times during an interview and his head falls off
-Lamar Odom slips in his sweat puddle and slides into a Staples Center dumpster, never to be heard from again
-Tony Parker loses his clippers and accompanying 1 guard, causing blindness due to the exponential, out of control growth of his head beard
-Tim Duncan fouls out, causing his face to explode
-Pau doesn't fall down on defense
-Phil Jackson's artificial hip disintegrates, forcing him to patrol the sidelines on a motorized cart
-Popovich wears a tie
-DJ Mbenga goes Congo on Bruce Bowen and Robert Horry

Now that I have all that off my chest, onto BJD site news. The long hot summer is here and with it an uncertain offseason for the Suns. I'll be posting at least a couple of times a week on BJD (and hopefully attending some NBA Summer League games in Vegas) but also be sure to check out Your Face is a Sports Blog on a daily basis as well as AZ Sports Hub every Friday for my post there.

Rodney Rogers: Mountain of a Man

6' 7", 270 pounds. That's what his NBA page says. The NBA must have some bad information though because my eyes have seen Rodney Rogers up close and in person, and I assure you he was ten stories high if he was a foot.

For a number of years, I worked at The Home Depot. One summer afternoon in 2001 I happened to run into the one and only Rodney Rogers as he shopped for tree stakes in the garden department. At the time, Rodney was my favorite Suns player, as Cliff Robinson had been unceremoniously exiled in the offseason for being too awesome.

It's not every day you get to see one of your favorite athletes up close and in person. As fans we're usually lucky if our seats are in the lower bowl. Yet here before me was the '99 Sixth Man of the Year, a guy who possessed a silky-smooth lefty shooting stroke and who was affectionately known (especially in college) as Monster Mash.

Rodney needed help with tree stakes, as it was monsoon season in Arizona. As he grabbed one I noticed what looked huge in a mere mortal's hands was nothing more than a toothpick in his. Rodney was a big, big dude.

Sadly, that was it. I answered a question or two for the big man, he thanked me and went on his way. Rather boring now that I've typed it out.

However, my point stands. Rodney Rogers was the man, yet another extremely likable player with a stop in Phoenix. I'd put him ahead of Sleepy Sam and Chris Bosh on the list of left-handed power forwards from the ACC (criteria are mine.)

I Used to Hate Mark Jackson's Guts

It's a good thing I changed my ways, because there's a chance he'll be the next coach of the Suns (I'll stick with the guy who used to wear taped glasses as my prediction.) Enough of this coach talk though, take a seat on the carpet, grab your favorite pillow and blanket and get comfortable. It's story time.

I'm sitting on a friend's couch, getting ready for the start of a Finals game between the Lakers and Pacers in the year 2000. Before the game NBC has a feature on Mark Jackson (the Pacers point guard at the time) and his dad. There's a quick promotion for it and they cut to commercial.

My friends and I use this time to complain about Mark Jackson and his game, especially his need to back down his man on what seemed like every possession. This made me insane at the time and looking back, it still does.

The commercials stop, the fantastic NBA on NBC music kicks on and we're all ready for this story to begin so we can rip on Jackson even more. What happened next wasn't exactly what we planned for.

I don't recall the specifics, but Jackson's dad had recently passed away and he and his father had an incredibly strong relationship. Within 30 seconds of the piece starting, we all had our mouths shut and were listening intently to Jackson speak about his father and how much he meant to him.

This wasn't your standard ESPN Sunday Conversation nonsense, this was a very, very moving story, with a man pouring his heart out on national TV. When NBC cut to commercial as the segment reached its conclusion, I looked around the room at my half dozen friends and they were all doing the same thing I was...gulping hard and fighting back tears.

The moral of the story? While it's easy to hate the guts of a player (Kobe, Manu, Parker, Duncan...), it's also easy to respect them. Sometimes it just takes a sappy but moving background story to help us in the right direction. I don't know if the Suns will hire Mark Jackson but if they do so, his character will never be questioned at any point in his tenure.

if anyone can find the video, let me know. I'd love to see it again, especially to find out if it's as good as I remember

Steve Kerr, in the US Airways Center, with the Taped Glasses

While Steve Kerr says he's in no rush to hire a coach, he's certainly busy making inquiries around the league. While there are a number of clues as to who will be on the short list of final candidates, many signs point to a former Sun and current Laker assistant being at the top of that list.

Call it a hunch or believe for a moment that I actually have a source (you don't?) in the Lakers organization, but Steve Kerr placed a call to Lakers General Manager Mitch Kupchak yesterday in regards to an assistant coach with the Lakers. As the Lakers are still alive and well in the playoffs, Kerr cannot speak with anyone on their staff. However, once the time is right, he'll be brought in for an interview.

The Lakers assistant is said to have made his desire for the job well-known and greatly looks forward to making his case as the next head coach of the Phoenix Suns.

D'Antoni's Mole

Many sports stories are broken using information from anonymous sources. When a person in the know speaks on the record it doesn't usually end happily for them. That's just the way it is. As such, a person speaking on condition of anonymity is usually the guy at the center of a juicy story.

What's interesting about stories surrounding the now former Phoenix Suns head coach Mike D'Antoni is that the source is always someone close to him.

I usually don't care very much as to the identity of an anonymous source but it doesn't take Woodward and Bernstein to figure it has to be Dan D'Antoni, or as we here at BJD like to call him, Dan Dan.

I don't begrudge Dan for whispering sweet nothings into McCallum's ear. I'd probably do the same if I were in his shoes. McCallum seems like a great guy and they have clearly built a friendship over the years.

However, what I've realized is my younger brothers need to hurry up and get into some position of authority so they can bring me in as their right hand man. That's what little brothers are for, right? I can slide into the right hand man/mentor/crazy/mock turtleneck role without any problem. I was born for it.

Five (Actually Eight) Good Minutes with Mike D'Antoni

No huge surprises here in that D'Antoni tells Kornheiser and Wilbon his relationship with Kerr could have been better. However, he also talks a number of times about a trust being broken after Tim Duncan hit the most improbable of shots to beat the Suns in Game 1 of this year's playoffs.

How the franchise and its coach go from possible extension to a rocky breakup we'll probably never know, but it very clearly has to do with the trust that was broken.

I want to hear more about this breaking of trust, damnit.

Did Steve Kerr light the coaches and team up after they blew Game 1? Did he go behind D'Antoni's back and tell the players something other than what the Coach was preaching?

Is D'Antoni simply telling us that he broke the trust of the franchise by completely blowing the game in giving Barbosa and Diaw game-winning shots and allowing Michael Finley and Tim Duncan to hit huge threes?

It's a combination of all of the above but as much as I want this entire ordeal to be over with and for the stories/rumors involving D'Antoni and the Knicks/Suns to disappear, the actual split between the Suns and Coach D is something I'll always be fascinated by and will never get enough of.

I wish the above video was thirty good minutes and Kornheiser and Wilbon asked some really tough questions.

h/t to loyal reader Rob

The New York Media is Laughable

This rumor is so ridiculous it's hilarious. Kerr said as much this morning on 910, going so far as to joke that his first order of business was not to replace D'Antoni but to ship him all of his players so he could start fresh in New York.

If I were to put on the NY Daily News shoes my very next post would be quoting Kerr's joke as fact just so I could get a few more views of my blog.

What Mitch Lawrence completely fails to mention is that Stephon Marbury is the epitome of a locker room cancer and no amount of cap relief is worth the headaches he causes. Writing about a team source's pipe dream does not a story make.

I'm not sure at what point the rumors regarding D'Antoni and his ex-players will cease to exist but I will welcome that day with open arms, as it cannot come soon enough.

Do You Have a Mint? Perhaps Some Binaca?

Not how I hoped to start my week, staring at Shaq's crack. I think it's as long as my leg.

Also, quick note to Shaq: Korn sucks. I sincerely hope you're not collaborating with them on any of your music.

hat tip to FanHouse and AZSportsHub

I Need a Vacation...From the Suns Problems

I have a rather active imagination and with all that's going on with the Suns right now it's running wild. Try not to hurt yourself after thinking about this:

-Coach D signs with New York
-Nash, unhappy that his coach was driven out of town, demands a trade to his new team
-Kerr, flipping the moron/genius coin yet again, makes this ridiculous trade
-US Airways Center floor cracks and crumbles under the weight of the new squad and the entire Suns franchise is swallowed into the depths of fire
-FIN

Let the Speculation Begin...

From Steve Nash:

"This is the last thing I'm going to say about our coaching situation: Mike's my coach. So I expect to see Mike back here next year. And I know there's a lot of stuff going on right now, but Mike's my coach. I love playing for him. I expect to see him back in October."

What does this all mean? Who the heck knows.

It's pretty clear that D'Antoni is not returning to the Suns, as the Knicks are once again turning up the heat. Is Nash making a last-ditch effort to keep his coach in town? Or is he already aligning himself against the new coaching regime?

This continues to get more and more interesting.

Second Prize is a Set of Steak Knives

Amare and Nash were voted to the all-NBA's second team today.

Sounds about right, I suppose. It's hard to argue with the guys selected ahead of them, that's for sure.

It will be interesting to see where Amare ends up next year on this list. He can keep the status quo and be a shoo-in for at least third team or he can rebound and defend like a man possessed and be an automatic choice for first team while making his case for the MVP.

With the way Nash played down the stretch and in the playoffs I'll be thrilled if he receives a vote or two with the likes of Chris Paul, Deron Williams and Tony Parker.

Then again, it's impossible to even think about next year because oh yeah, we don't have a friggin' coach.

Kobe Wins the MVP...La De Freakin' Da!

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

Amare finished sixth, Nash ninth.

Black Jesus, take note. You may already have the selfishness down pat, now just be sure to brood and sulk at every turn, bark at teammates for sucking because that's what you're told leaders do, throw everyone in the organization under the bus, not shoot for an entire 24 minutes in a Game 7 playoff game because your panties are in a bunch, lick your lips after saying four words, and earn the universal distrust and dislike of the entire league and you'll have your very own Maurice Podoloff trophy in no time at all.

Like Sands Through the Hourglass, So Are the Days of Our Suns

I can't wait until this soap opera nonsense is over. The sad part is we're still a ways away.

Even if Coach D is hired by Chicago or New York this week, Kerr and Sarver still need to hire a head coach. The suggestions are already coming in, with not a one looking all that attractive.

One first round exit is hard enough, a string of them will be even tougher to swallow. Unfortunately, the sky is falling and this team could be headed for an unfamiliar run of mediocrity due to an aging roster, tight financial situation, and philosophical change at the top.

Suddenly, the Suns are a team in turmoil, a rare occurrence in franchise history. Colangelo always looked inside the franchise to help right the ship (no joke...Cotton, Westphal, Ainge, Frank Johnson, Coach D, were all part of the organization before taking the helm), and it will be interesting to see if Kerr takes a page out of that book.

Kerr or Del Negro may not have head-coaching experience but at least the job will be kept in the family, albeit a very dysfunctional one.

Steve Nash Needs Gel For His Footsies

In a continued effort to expand outside the basketball world, Steve Nash is helping to launch Mission skincare products. Sounds like it works wonders for our point guard:

"All five products are amazing, but I am especially dependent on our Foot Synergy Gel, which helps re-energize my feet between the regular beatings they take on the court."

Unfortunately, I don't see a stupidity-curing balm available on their site. It was our only hope for Sarver.

hat tip to reader Ken M and TrueHoop

A Toast of the Dos Equis Goes To...

That's right, Horacio Llamas! Everyone enjoy Excuse To Get Hammered de Mayo.

hat tip to Ball Don't Lie. I'm embarrassed for not posting this earlier, especially since Horacio is an all-time, top five Suns benchwarmer.

Sarver Has My Permission to Go Away

The big news this morning is that the Suns have given Coach D permission to speak with other teams while still under contract with the team.

No huge surprise here, in that McCallum was right and the Bulls and Knicks are very interested in hiring a successful head coach.

What I find interesting is money seems to be the main concern with what is going on with Coach D. It's clear his stay here in Phoenix is over but rather than getting it over with already and firing the man, Sarver and Kerr seem to be doing everything they can to NOT pay the man the remainder of money on his contract.

$8.5 million is nothing to sneeze at of course but this just another instance of Robert Sarver putting his bottom line before the team.

Simmons did a fantastic job last week in outlining the Suns history with D'Antoni on the sidelines and Sarver sitting courtside with his stupid foam finger. Allowing D'Antoni to coach elsewhere will be just another bone-headed move initiated by Sarver, with the almighty dollar being a recurring theme in each.

The Valley of the Sun already has arguably the worst sports owner in history (go F yourself, Mr. Bidwill), are we becoming cursed with another?

Interview with Amare

Amare Stoudemire was good enough to speak with me after his exit meeting with the team yesterday. Here's how it went:

Black Jesus Disciples: Amare, what is your main priority this offseason? Will you be working on your defense or rebounding or both?
Amare: ME.

BJD: Interesting. Can you give us some insight into the mood of the locker room after the series-deciding Game 5 against the Spurs?
Amare: ME.
BJD: Ummm, ok.

BJD: It sounds like Shaq will be staying in the Valley during the offseason. Any plans to work out together and build on your chemistry?
Amare: ME.
BJD: Wow.

BJD: Amare...
Amare: ME.
BJD: ...what about...
Amare: ME.
BJD: ...Coach D'Antoni's future...
Amare: ME.
BJD: ...with...
Amare: ME.
BJD:: ...the team?
Amare: ME. ME. ME. ME. ME. ME. ME.

Fascinating stuff there. Thank you to Amare Stoudemire for giving us an all-access pass into what makes him tick.